Childhood in an Email

Timmy and Lassy.



























Studebaker Vehicle... I don't remember this exact car, but my grandfather had an orange studebaker truck. It was a piece of work. He loved that truck! Love you Gramps.

Silver Christmas Tree with rotating color wheel. I remember my grandmother had this tree... this very same tree. She was so excited when she set it up. Each year the panels in the color wheel were replaced with a different color scheme. The one I remember most vividly was the pink and purple. Love you Grams!

Skate key... I think I still have my old skates. Not sure where the key went... I remember using any kind of tool I could find when the key was lost.

My Uncle use to run a movie theater in town. This was the kind of projector he used. Miss you Uncle.

This tray made the BEST tasting and COLDEST ice cubes ever! I miss ice like that!

This was a family sport ... we'd all gather around and watch the top expand like it was magic. Usually didn't taste all that great because we'd always get so excited watching it we didn't notice the smell until it was burnt.

OH yeah! That paper was perfect for making these gum paper chains. I remember my chain wrapped around my ceiling over the bed headboard, up over the curtain rods... and back again. Mine was green!

My mom and her friend collected these green stamps together. Each time they went to the store, they would earn a certain number of stamps depending on the total money they spent. Some foods were on "stamp specials" and you would get more stamps for that item. You collected, licked and put the stamps in a collection book. I remember my mom looking through the green stamp catalog, planning what she would redeem the stamps for. There was a little store called the Green Stamp Store and it had all kinds of household goods you could exchange the stamps for.

This was sent to me by Debbie. I remember all of these! The statement at the bottom of the page said,

"If you can remember these, you have truly lived!"

* Signature

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¸.·*¨)(¸.·´
(¸.·´ .·´
¸¸.·´ ♥♫

* EXTRA: You're Grounded

This was printed inside the box!
It made me laugh!

" Flavor so intense and long-lasting, someone will want to ground you."

* Is this CRAZY?

* Charlie Bit Me!

* There are Worse Things

This one made me laugh....
A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Mom' With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Mom:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. Well be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,Your Son

Paul

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Dustin's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.I love you.Call me when it's safe to come home.

* Show and Tell: The 'Middle Wife'

Sent to me by my Sister Deanne

The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessionswith my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never,ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother,and I'm going to tell you about his birthday' 'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.' She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh,Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doinga hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Dom ino's man.

They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against thewall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in casehe got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, likepsshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands mimingwater flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of asudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be alot of toys inside there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest.

Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'MiddleWife' comes along.